He Never Got The 'Real' Girl But The Dream? Oh Yeah!

In this episode of Beyond the Podcast of 1984 BCA reminisces about his love life or lack thereof. He ponders whether or not if the guy might still get the girl at the end. Either way, he's still got his alien dream woman! Plus a bunch of randomness with music thrown in.

Want to buy BCA a cup of coffee and show your support for his show? 

Show open ad for Beyond the Podcast of 1984

Show middle ads for Beyond the Podcast of 1984.

Transcript

2:05

Hey, mutants! This is the bizarro alien it's been a little while since I did an episode. What was it like a week ago? I'm still kind of sick. I've got over congestion, all that good stuff. I've been sick. this is what? Excuse me. Day nine. Which. Fantastic. I kind of had an idea for today's episode. I don't know, I might, I might throw that out a little bit. I was gonna I've been planning out an episode called, He never got the girl in the end, which is sort of like the other take on the whole I'm so lonely bullcrap. And I was thinking, you know what? Maybe I'll save that for another episode because, I don't know. You know, you get into that little mode feeling sorry for yourself. Bullcrap. And for me personally, it's gotten old. I mean, I'm not depressed all the time, but talking about depression and one of the episodes, I don't remember which one it was, but I did. I mean, hey, I can't help it, you know, it's like I was talking about before, you know, being sensitive and all that, which sucks. I really sometimes wish that I wasn't a sensitive person, but I've always been sensitive, so I get I let things get to me, which sucks. it's definitely been one of my enemies in life that, you know, building up, you know, stuff in my head. You know, it's may or may not be true, you know, just a little whatever sensitive bullcrap. Like there's a song by boy and Love, the great boy and love got a song called, sensitivity is ignorance. And I kind of agree with that. So it's. I think I should just be a heartless, cold asshole. And you know what? Life would probably be a lot easier when it, you know, but I don't think I'm going to get in all of that. I'm also being kind of sarcastic, but I think I'm also kind of speaking the truth. So what the heck is today's episode about? I don't know, all I know is my apologies to Tim. I swear when you hear this, have the card in your hand and all the editing and all that good stuff, man. So I'm just kind of zoned out. I don't even know what time it is. What time is it? let me see real fast. It is. Wow. It's only 1244, so nobody sets clocks, man. Nobody sets any clocks. And then in my house, half of it doesn't even work with the oven words. But two of the burners don't work on the clock. We can't even set the clock now. We keep trying to set it and it won't even stay right, So anyways, hopefully better soon. I'll be digging some generic robots. it's funny because I was thinking about Robitussin the other night. Started laughing. I was like, where the Robitussin? Like, oh yeah, the Bill Hicks film. Well, I like shot on video, Ninja Bachelor Party, which is one of my favorite, like, low budget movies. Awesome. It's hilarious. He's addicted to Robitussin and he dubbed it everybody's voice. It's a really great, ridiculous, low budget, good time. listened to a lot of, like, early Ben without hats, some David Bowie, guy who was in some other 80s, I can't remember now, but anyways, you know, rock and out. Oh, yeah. Like, a lot of, like, blasphemy and some other stuff. Oh, yeah. The fix freak. I love the bass. I love the bass in those two songs. One thing leads to another. And, we ourselves bass is just kick ass. But anyways, you know, thinking about all the, all the music, especially the 80s stuff, you know, when I was in high school, I might have already said this before. So if I repeat myself, well, you gotta get used to that, because this is how I am. I, I talked to a lot of people. I had this big fantasy, you know, because when I was in high school, I was definitely that jerk and nerd. All that stuff. I wasn't a bad guy, wasn't a bully or anything. I was just I was bullied, not all the time, but, you know, off and on. Anyways, I was just a total dork. And my biggest fantasy was like, at the end, at the end of the day and the last day of school, the girl of my dreams would show up and should walk towards me in slow motion, and we'd look it to each other's eyes and then she'd give me a kiss on the cheek or something, or you know what I mean, just cheesy crap. And then hold her hand. And then we'd walk off to the sunset and there'd be like a Flock of Seagulls song playing. Pretty cheesy, I know. What's really sad is I was thinking about it, and it's funny how many, like, guys were nerds, you know what I mean? They're picked on or they're geeks and they're probably talented. You know, though, drawing, you know, really good. You know, playing D and D and all that stuff. Of course, I'm going back to the 80s. I'm not going now. Like where they're really good with their iPod. Blah puter crap. But you know what I mean. I'm talking old school, at least in my in my life. Anyways. You know, one day they woke up and all sudden they're all like, it's all for their more masculine. You know, they grown some facial hair and all sudden, boom, they're getting girls left and right. Well I have one that's having a lot. But I was laughing because I was thinking about myself. And you know, it's funny. I never fricking happened. I mean, I'm a bigger guy now. I'm not like, fat, but I'm a bigger guy. I could grow a total beard. I've got a lot of compliments for that school. Look like a frickin cross between a Yeti and a troll. Viking Rob zombie. Some, like, homeless guy. Well, you know, whatever. It's cool. But anyways, I was just thinking about it. It's like I never I never achieve that, man. I'm not like this guy that suddenly one day like, oh, man, I'm like, totally cool. I got this, like, beautiful girlfriend. Oh yeah. And then we ended up getting married and blah, blah, blah. I never did any of that. I'm still bi. I'm still in my own world, man. And you know, that's why I will say I'm proud. Even though sometimes I get a little sad, a little down and feeling lonely is, I'm glad that I'm still who I am. I never sold out. I'm still doing my frickin freak noise band, the Earwigs. I play my guitar a lot more than I used to. I've had that beautiful guitar since July of 87. My beautiful ax. And I love my guitar. My guitar is like a beautiful woman. Anyways, I'm still drawing, you know, I'm trying to get back into doing stuff because I really like just I got really jaded over the last several years. I'm supposed to be doing, more music with my buddy Adam from Moth and Small Frog. You know, we're doing electronic project called The Difficulties, which is really cool. I'm not very good at what I do. He thinks that I have a good, you know, rhythm and all that good, you know, ideas for sound. And I appreciate that, buddy. I'm just, I'm more into, like, playing keyboards and guitar and all that. Not really into the computer stuff. I try to program. I don't really get it. It's kind of fun. It's a pain in the ass at the same time. But hopefully we'll finally have an album coming out because, you know, I know it's been a really slow process and a lot of it's my fault. excuse me. Anyways, I've just got really jaded. I have recorded a little bit on and off, but it's been like over two years since I recorded my last album, which is called Brush Your Teeth With Fucking Shit. Was inspired by a video that guy supposed to be brushing his teeth as well, playing in the background. And then I was thinking about all my jokes, talking about poop all the time, and stuff that apparently annoys some people. I don't really care, you know? I'll just keep talking about pooping and forwarding and all. I don't care, I just, I really don't care. I'm not, you know, I don't have a rep and I always laugh too. It's like, dude, you know, because you are, you know, you want to meet like a cool girl or something. You know, there's people, there's stupid advice, you know, just cut your hair, shave or, you know, just like, chill out. I'm not going to chill out, okay? The funny thing is, I've been a really frickin mellow on the show. I have and not really ranted, and I should, because the show is supposed to be about what I'm into. Maybe you read some things and I'm not into it. Could definitely use more humor. I don't know, maybe people laugh and I hope so. If you're not, it's the I don't even care. Why do I have to be defensive, you know, why do I have to be so sensitive about garbage and getting all weepy and mopey about bullshit? You know, I'm never going to be able to, you know, some things I'm never going to be able to do. But I will say this for the record, right now on the topic of life and all that is, I'm never going to give up my dreams, man. You know, I talk about my space girl and let's be realistic, she's most likely not real. But do I have to, like, give up on her? No. Do I have to give up on, like, true love and and all that stuff? Nope. I don't have to. You know, some people make me feel like I have to. You know what? No, I don't. I'm thinking for myself. I'm not thinking about any of you people or anybody in particular. I'm thinking about myself. I'm going to stick with my dreams. I'm going to keep doing my noise, and we keep doing my music. I'm going to learn how to use my damn or track zoom device that I've had for months. I'm going to learn how to use that, and I want to like, get back into making some punk rock, metal, grind, whatever it space music and all that. And it'd be nice. I should have learned how to do it by now, but I'm just bored of my excuse not filling that good. We go to my job, I come home, I'm tired. You know, I work Monday through Friday. I'm stressed about stuff. I'm tired of me and stressed about stuff. Man. But I'm frickin, you know, worried about, I don't know, finances get all kinds of crap to deal with, deal with my health. Just a bunch of crap, you know? And it kind of sucks. But, you know, I'm being honest. I'm trying to do what I can, but I need to put a little more effort into it. but yeah, life is my life is weird. Sometimes it's really good. Sometimes it really sucks. It's it's what you make of it. And, I don't know, I get kind of tired of, like, you know, I think a lot about, you know, being alone and all that. No. Maybe it's just because I'm getting older, but, you know, and I figure when I was a kid, you don't by now, I would have been married, probably even grandchildren now. But you know what? I know that, man. No dates, no nothing. No, I don't know. It'd be really, you know, if you really, you know, want to do something and it's. No, I'm not into dating and bullshit. I, I somehow get on a dating site. I didn't even join. I was just like, you know what I was curious about? This was like months and months and months ago, and it was a bunch of crap. It was like, you know, all these like, single women. And it's like, I don't I'm not putting these women down. they're kind of older. I'm definitely older than they are. These women are probably in there like, I don't, I'm guessing like, I don't remember their ages, like early 40s and a lot about kids and just I don't want to say a soccer mom, but, you know, just kind of like that age. And I was just like, this is definitely not for me. I was like, oh, God. I mean, I, I was looking at it and I'm thinking, this isn't me, man. I'm not some Jesus. It's like, I'm not that lonely. And no offense of these ladies. I hope they all meet somebody nice that, you know, wants to go out with them and start a relationship. Yeah. Stepdad and their kids. you know, That's cool. I hope it works out with me, man. I've got my dreams. I don't care how far fetched they are. people are like, you know, you just got to be realistic. And, one of my friends. I'm not Reagan on a but he's like, you know, that's cool. You know, you got your dream woman. I know you love her and don't ever give up on her do. But, you know, there's lots of real women out there, and I'm like, I know what he means. If you listen to his body, you know, I'm talking about. Actually, he's not a real bad deal, is my friend Diablo. He kind of said that, and he's right. But I'm just I just I don't know, maybe because I'm so used to be by myself. But, you know, my fantasies as a kid were pretty ridiculous. I mean, I used to have crushes on lots of girls, and like I was saying, you know, I was like, oh, man, all the 80s music that I still freaking love, like 40 plus years later. I love all that stuff. You know? I really makes me happy. Sometimes. Bums me out about one night as I listen to some 80s music and I actually start to get really ticked off, I was like, you know what? I was like, wow, first time in my life, I was like, this music kind of sucks because, you know, it's supposed to make you all happy. You know? It's making me really sad. I was like, Jesus, I'm so lonely, guy, man. I got all these, like, impossible dreams, you know? And. And he really like somebody, and, well, let's face it, sometimes you really like somebody and maybe even tell them. And they don't like you. Not, not don't like you, but they don't like you like as much as you like them or you know what I mean? And it happens, and you shouldn't rag on them because everybody's different. Maybe they like somebody else, you know, and that that really hurts. And that's what I was going to get to talking about. You know, it's stupid. Just all the guy who did her at the end, well, I'm going to tell you this right now is I'm done with that attitude because in the end, I may very well get my girl. I may very well get her. You know, my dream lady, I don't care how easy it is. You know, hearing the word dream lady. No, listen to something else, dummy. if that annoys you, I don't care. but you know, it's true. Sometimes you really like somebody, and you know, you tell and you're all excited. You know, you, like, might even be in love with them. But they don't feel the same way. And the thing is, it's really, really selfish. And I. I didn't really think about it myself. It's like, it's really selfish to assume that just because, let's say you get a crush on somebody, that doesn't mean they're going to like you. I mean, you hope deep inside that, oh my God, if I tell this person that I really like him, they're going to be like, oh, you know what? I've always liked you too. It doesn't always happen, people. If it does, you are very lucky to me. And it does happen in real life, but it happens more in like comic books and movies. And then sometimes there's just once a dumbass that you see, like, I don't know, I was thinking of like, Gen 13, you know, the, the, image comic, you had this big lug idiot, the character grunge, and he's in love with Caitlin Fairchild, who's the big, tall, busty redhead. She's pretty freaking hot. She's really hot. But Roxy is in love with that rock scissors. Cool. Beautiful girl. Like, you know, was like. Yeah. Kind of dark hair, a lot of pink. It is. She's. I always saw Roxy was totally cute and really hot. Anyway, she's in love with him. He doesn't even notice her because he's in love with the other girl that he's not going to get because she has no interest in him. And it's just a comic book. But he used to really just take me off. I'm like, Jesus, buddy, you got this beautiful freak girl. And you see that movies, too? It's just like, or then you watch a movie like, I don't know, Pretty in Pink, which to me is a total sellout movie. I could go on and on about all those stupid movies like that in The Breakfast Club. Sellouts. Total sellouts, man. Freaking sellouts. But you know, at the end you got Duckie, who's a total nerd guy, and he really loves his friend. He loves, Molly Ringwald is cute. You know, she's really cute. While Molly Ringwald is adorable. It's a lovely girl. You know, she's still really cute. How at the end of the movie, you know, he's kind of rejected because he goes off with the yuppie asshole. I laughed, I'm like, so low total. Do do do do. Anyways, she goes with them and then he's standing there and all sudden there's Kristy Swanson, who I had like a huge freaking crush on. Anyways, she's winking at him, calls and he's like, me is equals. Yeah, and you know what? Just a movie. But it's like, God dang, he got way hotter than, Miller. Well, but it's not about hot. It's just, I don't know, maybe I'm biased because I had a massive crush on Kristy Swanson is just kind of gone nuts, you know, political wise. But that's, you know, that's her, right? I think that kind of sucks, you know, just kind of. I don't know what to think mad. But anyways. And she's still beautiful, but he ends up walking off with her and I was totally jealous. It's just a movie. But I was like, God dang. And, you know, you see all these movies where that happens a lot is comic books. Oh, he gets, but I gotta say, I kind of appeal Man With No Name, you know, the Clint Eastwood trilogy. And I'm like, sometimes I'm just like, who cares? You know what? I'm never going to. I'm never going to have anybody. I never really have. Excuse me. You know, just right off in the desert on my horse. Who cares who was some beautiful woman, like in, in big trouble little China scene I always love. Oh my God. Sorry. Oh, a big trouble, little China. A scene where, Kurt Russell standing there and he goes, see ya. And he walks off, as you know, you go, oh, come on, God dang it. One of my one of my, like, big teenage crush, Kim Cottrell. Sorry. Kim controls. She's totally hot and I movie. She's still hot. But anyways, I always like Kim Cattrall Kim Cattrall just standing there and a woman walks right up towards you. Oh my God, you're not even going to kiss her goodbye. And he looks up and he goes, nope. And he walks off. I was like, that is the coolest record. See, you know, what is chance of the totally hot lady? And he's like, nope. I think it's awesome. That's what I wanted to be because I never got that girl, you know, these so-called. And I got tired of repeat. And I probably talked about this before, but all these girls are supposed to like me. these girls I was supposed to meet, I never did, I never got the chance because, oh, somebody lost their number or some map and and, of course, you know, kind of left in the background, you know, the geek nobody likes. But anyways, it doesn't really matter. And I apologize for all those coughs. but, you know, that's all life goes, and you always hope, but it doesn't always happen. But it doesn't mean you have to totally give up. You know, some people are just down on everything. I get down on Alana, kind of blabbing on and on. But yeah, I just to say, you know, I always say life is too short. It is too short. Just do what you gotta do. I think a lot about that, you know, like, I, I just repeat myself again here. Getting older, kind of lonely As a kid, I was told, you know, what do you. What? Do you beat a girl? I was like, pretty young back then, but, you know, meet a girl. Doesn't matter if she's and, you know, fat, ugly, unattractive, just good to become a man. And I'm like, you know what? If I'm going to be with somebody, I want to be with somebody that I'm attracted to. You know, in this day and age. No, you see this? You shouldn't say that. I don't want to offend anybody. I don't care. We'll tell you what. There's a certain kind of girl that I am attracted to. And if there's nothing wrong with that. Oh, you're being, you know, this or that. Oh, I like pretty girl. You know, my dream woman is beautiful. Is there something wrong with that? Oh, no. We're going to like, you know, if you're going to get with reality, she's going to, you know, she's going to be imperfect, you know, like super overweight, You know what? I don't think so because she is my fantasy. But anyways, what I'm trying to say is in real life, you know, you like somebody, you're attracted to them because there's something about them. They're attractive. And I have seen girls up to be like, I wish I could remember some girl example, but some girl that I thought was really beautiful. I was like, oh my God, that girl's just wow. And a lot of people didn't think that she was. And I thought she was. And I've seen I've also seen some, you know, ladies that I don't like are that great. And other people like, oh my god, dude, are girls totally hot, you know, I mean, everybody has different types of attraction. Like I personally think that so-called plus size, a lot of those girls are beautiful. They're beautiful. I'm not attracted, like, super obese. I've seen some, like, very obese women that belly cute and face, but, like, it really matters. They're not going to go for me anyway, so I'm not even worried about that kind of crap. But anyways, just attractiveness in a lot of different, you know, women as big girls. I think a really lovely and I'm, I really I'm not very attracted. I'm not attracted to super, you know, very huge obese women. And I'm not putting them down. That's just not what I'm attracted to. And that doesn't make me. Oh, you're monster. You are. What do you call a was a beast of all burger? I don't know what the stupid word would be like, but, you know, because they're not plus size anyways, I live with the word plus size because a lot of women that are so-called one size are really not that big. And that's why I live like some of these, these Sports Illustrated swimsuit models I wish I could remember her name is when I follow age. I think she is absolutely hot. She's a bigger gal and she's frickin gorgeous. And apparently she gets emails and people calling her fatty and just I'm like, are you frickin serious? It's like, you know what? You people probably you couldn't get a date if you tried this. This woman is so beautiful. I've just got a just a great figure. I think she's totally hot. I wish I could remember her name because I'd say it, but I follow her on Instagram. I follow a couple Korean gals as funny because people think, oh, they're all big. Like Suki. I think that's how you pronounce a name. I think she is beyond like just she is so hot. She's just she is just wow. But well anyways, what was my point? I kind of I don't even remember what I was talking about. No traction. But, you know, I have the kind of girl that I like. The kind of woman that I would love to be with. Is anyone from this planet? I don't even think I will ever, as long as I live, go out with any woman on this planet. And you could call me weird if you want. I should have talked about this on my episode of who That Is Ginger I gave I gave up Earth women, I don't bother, I've got friends online and my supervisor is really cool. I've got some lady friends. I don't know why, I just I don't even care. I don't even bother. And the thing is, I used to think, oh man, I'm like, I must be one of a kind. Now, there's a lot. There's some gals I know that no, they don't go on dates or anything because they've been screwed over. Seems like everybody's been screwed over. But for the people that we have, the relationships and it works out for you, I think that's awesome. I got some dear friends that have been their wives, husbands, partners, whatever, you know, very happy. And I think that's great. Like my friend Tim here and his lady, his lovely wife. Carmella. They've been together for quite a while and they're doing great. I got other friends of my friend, Keith and Melody. They've been together for a while. I wish, I wish all my friends that are in these long term relationship the best. You know, whoever you are, I wish you the best. yeah, I don't know, I get I get a little weird because, like I said, I've liked a lot of girls. I just kind of gave up. I know, especially the very last time person that I really liked a lot. I'm like, you know, I'm just. Tom. It's like it just made me feel really weak and spineless and in lame. And I don't know, when you build up stuff in your head, you know what I mean? And it's just, like, waste of time, but, you know, whatever. It's cool. But I've also come to the conclusion, and I shouldn't give up because you never know. I mean, you never know what's going to happen. You know? I mean, I don't go to bars, I don't go to parties. I don't ever get invited to anything. I'm boring. I just I don't drink, I don't do nothing anymore. I don't go to church. I go to my job. Usually I go to the store. I just don't do anything. I'm a boring person, you know? And I know I'm not sexy or I'm no stud or whatever. And I always laugh, you know, once in a very, very while. I mean, very, very rarely. Oh, you know, I've been complimented. I appreciate it, but really, I'm not that great. And if I was really great once somebody want to hang out with me or something, you know, that's not going to happen either. I just. Whatever. You know what, man? Give me some good sparkling flavored water. Mike. It's a great kick ass weird movie. And the lights off and I'm all good. I don't really care because, you know, I just the way I look at it, I was born alone. I'm going to die alone. This episode is really suck time. Is it okay? We still got a little bit, and, I don't know, maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself, you know? But I've had some girls that I. I really, really frickin like. I got to tell you one of those story real fast. I think it's kind of funny. And it's probably. I don't even know. Even if it's. I don't even this this episode doesn't even have a theme. I don't know what could I come up with the title for a buddy? that's a reference to my friend Tim. So there is this gal. I'm not gonna say her name, but I had a huge crush on her. I mean, I really liked I'd see her in my, you know, how are we going to race? Because, dang, she's beautiful. I'm sure she still is. Quit talking to me. Anyways, it was there in Spokane. We'd hang out. We have a lot of good laughs. Went to really hang out, hang out, you know, meet at this coffee place. And if she hears this, now she'll know that yes, I had a huge crush on you. I thought you were, like, the most beautiful girl in Spokane. And I doubt she's even gonna hear this because I don't hear from her at all. So how was she going to hear this? anyways, so we're hanging out one day, getting ready to hang out. I was like, I was on my way downtown, was catching a bus, and I'm like, oh my God. And I finally I broke all the rules. Oh, all my beliefs. Everything that I believed. I was like, you know what? I'm going to ask her if she wants to hang out with me because I really, really, really liked her. She was always told me that was funny and I made her laugh a lot, and it just really made me happy. I mean, Here's a beautiful girl is stunning and really friendly and really funny. Anyways, we're hanging out and I was like, just trying to get the guts, you know what I mean? Because I was so scared and just lean and Audrey and I'm like, oh my God, oh my God, I don't even have to ask her. She's going to ask, oh my God. And that was just like Jesus, you know? So just beyond excited and side just smiling at me and all sudden hanging I ask you something and I'm like, oh my God, here it comes. You know what it was? Do you think if I asked blah blah out that he'd go on a date with me and just right then and there I felt like I had a knife, it's like somebody came right up behind me, just stuck it right into my guts. And I was like, mellow. I'm like, oh yeah, you likes you a lot. Should do that. Hung out for a little bit longer and I and I'm like, all right, I was going to go home. I'm walking down the street. I'm so bummed out. I look back, you know, almost like, God dang it. And I really sucked, man. I was like, God dang. Well then, like the next day I saw walking over to the place to go meet the guy, and that was that. Yeah. I talked to her again a little later on, came back to Spokane. We hung out. Go girl, I don't know. There's a whole bunch of crap. I'm not going to get into it, but that really sucks. You know? And I've had all kinds of other weird stuff happen has to do with women. But I'm also thinking in the back of my mind, maybe this is all meant to be, you know what I mean? Like this girl you're supposed to meet and and some app. This girl is supposed to get her number and she wanted to talk to you, blah blah. It says a bunch of bull crap. You know, when I think about it, I mean, I can write up, I don't know, it's I could do a zine about all this, and it's actually rather freaking hilarious, man. and he gets like, Steve Eggs, my old buddy Steve eggs, pile of eggs. And that scream as I total shut down. Totally. Yeah, definitely a shut down, man. There's been more of that shut downs rejection. But you know what? I really think about it, it's actually pretty freaking hilarious. I'm really glad they're talking about all this crap here is actually pretty God dang hilarious. But, I guess that's what happens when you're a nerd. You know, I've always been in my own world, you know, hiding Playboys under my pillow. Looking at him like wolf is really pretty, right? In my diary, all these girls are like, oh, she's real neat. You real cute. Either I like her eyes. Is real pretty hair. Yeah. That's great. Pretty pathetic. But I am draws the bizarre alien. And, my dream woman isn't real. You know, she lives in my heart, my mind. And that's fine, because, you know, she makes me happy. And sometimes I think about her so deeply that it's almost like she's real. Like last week I was laying there, and. No, it was a couple of weeks ago. Was like over two weeks ago when I wasn't feeling so crappy. And I swear, it's like, God, like she was laying there and I was like, look over and should be there. No, of course this is my freaking pillow. Well, you know, it doesn't matter. People think, oh, yeah, you know, you get through a certain age, grow out of all those dreams, and I'm like 52.5. I don't really care. I'm probably too old now. I'm like an old horse. Just put me out to pasture. It's what I've said before. Just put me out to pasture. Don't shoot me. Just let me, like, lay on the ground and die. But you know, I also get to quit thinking I'm too old because I'm not. I was talking to somebody recently. Well, recently. And they're like, oh, I wish I was a young. And you know what? I know how that is now. Because when I was younger, I was older. No, I don't I wish I was younger, you know, just to do more stuff and live and be healthier and oh my God, that lady is a god. That's Heidi Montag. she's kind of hot, but very. Plus the holy crap, bam, that's us just making our money. And she's doing ads for, some dumb hydro. I don't know what that is. okay, I only got a few minutes. So is there a point to this episode? hey, you know what? I'm alive. I'm breathing, my eyesight sucks, my hair's thinning, and I still haven't cut it. I have a total beard. diabetes, high blood pressure. I saw it so let's pretend like I was on a dating profile. Who, though? Who the hell would want to go out with me? Jesus had sheep. When I know the guy that runs out of breath. What does it matter, ladies? Because as far as I'm concerned, I been take him for a long time. And you know what? I look up to the sky every night. Oh, but I'll see a ship if you think I'm insane. You're right. I'm not insane. I'm bizarre. I'm a weirdo. Finishing a H.P. Lovecraft book, The Tomb and Other Stories. And it's excellent. I don't know what I'm going to read next, but, I've been reading a lot. The read a Nicolas Cage book a while back while about Nicolas Cage was pretty cool. Guy was a little dry trashed on too many movies that I like by Nicolas Cage is a come on, buddy, you're being a little bit too anal there. read battle royale. Pick that up again after, like, I don't know, two years. Finished it. Read book by Sean Carswell, who writes for, razor K. Excellent book. I'm trying to find his other book I got. I cannot find it. I can't find a book that Diablo gave me, volume two. It's comic book. It's really cool. Anyways, been reading a lot. I'm going to do a new comic again sometime. Gotta get this stuff sent off to Tim. Got a lot of crap. We got a DVD coming out sometime this year or whatever. Short films and I don't know, I have earwigs that earwigs blue with speculum rats. I'm going to send this stuff off to you, Brian. I'm sorry. Hope you're hearing this. You're hearing this all day. Dude, I know I'm an asshole and I suck. I'm just I'm trying to get over the whole jaded crap because it's so lame excuse. But once I get recording again, figure out how to do it all. It's going to be badass. And I got a lot of stuff to do. I got to get a hold of Max tribe trip tapes about a bunch of Betty Norris stuff I have. I don't know, people probably think I'm a I'm a flake, I am a flake. I'm a total loser flake. But you'll all be hearing from me. Oh, boy. You're listening to this. Oh, boy. You guys enjoy this? Want to say hello to everybody out there that's listening to this? And support. And always order the earwigs and my art and my just me. You know, I appreciate you support me, people. we're just. I'm just a mutant, you know, stuck on Earth. I call myself the bizarre alien, but I'm a mutant. My blood is black. I dream woman's hair is purple, and, I don't know. I think that's about it for this episode. The theme. I don't know, pooping. That's a lot of green. So this guess we just call this this episode. The guy might still get the girl at the end. I don't know, maybe we'll call it that, I don't know, what do you think, Tim? Anyways, get all these title. You people here it fake cleavage kind of excites me, but it's still kind of weird to. Okay, enough of that. So anyways, thanks for listening to this exciting episode of the on the podcast, the 1984, and we'll see you again soon on another episode. This has been Becca from Outer Face saying thanks scare stay sick takes care. Don't forget to change your underwear and keep the filth. We'll see you. You're from New York to you. Teleport to other planets with you next time. Okay? Bye.