Music is My Savior, Noise is My Life, Ratt N Roll Bizarre Alien!

In this episode of Beyond the Podcast of 1984 BCA discusses how music is his savior and noise is his life. Each episode we learn more about the enigmatic Bizarre Charlie Alien. Join us for another show. Ratt N Roll Bizarre Alien! Follow for exclusives and more!!

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Transcript

2:05

Okay, here we go. One. Two. Three. this is Charles, the Missouri land. And, this is episode five of, beyond the podcast of 1984.

It's like 1: 2:17

42 a.m.. I did two episodes in a row yesterday, and I really thought about deleting my last one. who is Ginger? Because I was kind of thinking was that two personal? And and then I thought, and I can't believe I was actually thinking as I was thinking, oh, baby, it was a little too weird. And I'm thinking, no one cares and worried too much about you know, stupid things. And that's not stupid. I don't think it was a stupid episode. It's just that I kept thinking about it and I'm like, did I? Was that even necessary? I mean, some people already know that I'm a weirdo, but, you know, anyways, that that episode was all about my dream lady, and, I've got no shame. I don't care if you think I'm crazy. Good. I hope you do. I hope you think I'm weird because I am weird. It's like said many, many times in the past. I'll say it on the show, too. I don't call myself the bizarre alien for nothing. I don't. I'm not some poseur. That's who. You think I'm weird, you know, really weird. Just a normal, boring, you know, asshole. I'm going to call myself you. You who or no, I am, and I'm proud to be. I'm always been a weirdo, outsider or whatever. but anyways, so that episode's in the can. one thing I did want to bring out before I forgot, and, in reference to that episode, is, you know, the the my band that your wigs for over 33 years now slowed down a lot, but it's still in existence. But can you name any noise? Trash freak? Weirdo bands that do love songs? I don't know, I was thinking about that. And am I Berrigan yeah, I am, I have songs dedicated to Ginger. I have, you know, several recordings. I just want to bring that up before, because I forgot to mention that in my last episode about her, her, but, you know, she's adorned many of my covers of my tapes, my seeders, my, records from all my records that I've done a 40 fives. And I've also done many love songs and songs dedicated to her. You know, one of my personal favorites is, in her special love song. And I have a bunch of others I just can't think right now, but, you know, like, I've done, like, you know, cassettes like Ginger forever. DSC delay, Northland. An old bunch of, you know, just titles with her name on it and just, you know, I just a great. I just thought something weird. That was weird. I don't know what the heck that was. Anyways. So I was just bringing that up, you know, because every time I always dedicate a song to her and usually it's like the same title. but it never sounds the same because I. I'm not one of those, you know, I'm not like white House or former con where I like, recreate the sounds that I do. You know, on my recordings. I don't really care. That's kind of life and records. Just a little side note. Some bands say, oh, you have to recreate exactly what you do. And that's what I find boring about music, which I do like music a lot. despite a lot of my, my recordings always say, you know, fucking music and music is shit and blah, blah, blah. I do think a lot of music sucks is boring. but anyways, my whole point is I like I love doing noise because I don't have to repeat myself, and some people think noise is pointless. Well, that's your opinion. I think it's pretentious. Good. I'm glad that people think it has. I've been called pretentious because my stuff is just, you know, whatever is not music. Yeah, because I don't follow rules, man. But anyhow. So. Yeah, I just thought I'd bring that up about my girl, that I have done many songs about her with my band dedicated to her, and a lot of it's just love songs. And so, I'll probably I'll mention her off and on on my show, talk about all kinds of stuff. And I don't think this episode really has any theme. I don't think it needs to be. I'm all over the place in real life. I could be in a conversation with somebody and some people find that annoying and that's fine. That's just how I am. It's kind of part of my personality. I've been like that since I was a kid. I sometimes get overexcited. It could be talking about one thing and then jump over to some other subject. But that's how I am. And, you know, I try to stay focused. I'm not a very focused person. I don't know, maybe I have undisclosed ADHD. I don't know. I think maybe I do. It's hard. It's very hard to concentrate. I figure that out in the last quite a while, I. It's hard to focus. I figured only way that I can do stuff is I have to just record, do it anyways. So this is the fifth episode, and I gotta say that I'm happy that I'm doing this because it's very therapeutic for me. earlier I was thinking about I was getting really depressed again. I then kind of just feeling down a lot on and off. I was thinking, you know, I thought, oh, maybe I'll just do a theme episode about depression, suicide, and, you know, this you're probably considered a bleak episode. Not to me. It's it's therapeutic to talk about stuff, I think. But, I just decided, you know, I think this episode here is just going to be kind of all over the place, but I would like to say that I am very grateful for music because I've said this before to people, but I really believe that music has saved my life many times because I have gotten really, really depressed. And, you know, just sometimes over really stupid things and sometimes, you know, I just, I wonder, why is I why am I depressed? I mean, sometimes it comes out of nowhere and it seems as I've gotten older, I find it happening more. Or, you know, sometimes I think, oh, is it because I, you know, I'm lonely or whatever? It's like, I got my cats. I'm grateful. I am very grateful for my cats. They're like the most important for me in my life. I love my kitties. I'm very special to me. They're a pain in the ass sometimes, but I love them and they make me very happy. But music, I you know, ever since I was like I'd say about like 14, I think it was like, no, it was like by around 84, 80. No, sorry. 82. So I first got on MTV and I really loved watching videos and stuff, and I still the MTV was really kick ass back then, music back then, I loved it. I can't say that much about today. There's really not a whole lot of stuff I like. I don't listen, maybe isn't even called the radio. I don't know, I know it sounds silly, but for a while there I was listening to choirs, a local radio show. Monday I was listening to The Edge, which plays a lot of cool old school punk rock and stuff, and a little bit of newer punk. And then Fridays was my old friend Bruce, who I miss. I'm trying to go, old man five, five times now and I still can't get it all live anyways, every Friday night I would listen to Psychic Radio, which is really cool. He plays a lot of music from all over the world, a lot like electro punk stuff. And once in a while, some old school punk rock. And just a really great show at that in the edge of the street. But, where I work that I now, I, they have a radio station set and right now they're playing like the worst music, just really generic bad kind of a mix of some 80s stuff, a couple of 80 songs, a pop up, which is about cool. But anyhow, music is very important to me. I mean, I've had especially growing up, I spent a lot of time alone in my room, and I would just sit there and listen to music and, for a while there, all I was into was, you know, stuff like rad, Motley Crue, poison, Doc and Van Halen tours. They're rad. I just said Ratt. But anyways, I cherish the first three Metallica albums, and I like, you know, some of garage days, like all the Cliff Burton stuff. But anyways. And then, you know, Megadeth, Judas Priest, I got in a rush and Black Sabbath. So this is all this is going about 86, because I had an older friend in the Air Force, and he let me borrow a bunch of cassettes, and it was all really good stuff, you know? And of course, you know, being a Jimi Hendrix. And I was I got really, really into Pink Floyd and there's still one of my favorite bands we have. A lot of times I was just kind of lonely because I didn't really have any friends. You don't know girlfriend? Nothing. And I was just real loner girl, loser, nerd jerk, bad haircut. So I would just sit in my room and listen to a lot of music while reading, and I'd sit there for hours and my parents are. There was something wrong with me. So as some people know, they used to send me. I used to go see a psychologist a lot, and I got I was asked on why. Well, because you're good. You didn't try to make any friends. So. Yeah, because I really don't like people. A lot of people are assholes and bullies. I got bullied a lot. So why do I want to go on meet people? But I did have a few friends here and there, and, it's ironic because all my friends parents were all religious, so I'd go to church with them just to hang out with them and trade tapes. I knew this girls is pretty cool. We like we did a couple tape trades like, what was it? I can't remember if I traded my yeah, I traded my was the first wasp album on cassette for like Twisted Sisters. You can't Stop Rock and roll. you know, it was kind of funny because we'd have to, like, kind of hide behind a church or the reason why else or the church is because I got I can't remember. I had a job, I had this part time job, I worked on the weekends. But I would like go to the church store and buy jack chick the little like, ridiculous, total creepy, ridiculous comics. You know, the jack chick tracks. I had a lot of those and unfortunately my mom threw them out. I wish I had them, but those are. These are weird. but the art is really good. But they're just full of this bullshit. We've ready. And you know what I'm talking about. But, no, music is a great thing. And I found myself about a week and a half ago. I was at work, and I was really depressed and just felt really sad. And then I started thinking about rat, because Quinn said at the time, I was listening rat again, which I still I love illness. Recently, yeah. Anyways, I had, I'm trying to think what song was body body talk? I had that stuck in my head, so I started singing out loud. I was vacuuming, but oh, music is really important to me. I love music, but especially this other special about a lot of that hard rock stuff, you know, like the first Cinderella album. and like, everything by Twisted Sister and of course, you know, Judas Priest and A love Iron Maiden. I finally get off my ass. I don't know about it. Over a year ago, I know I finally get, like, the first seven Iron Maiden albums. I still need to get more. I want to get Life After Death and Fear of the dark. Now, I love maiden, and I was collecting of, like a motorhead. I've always, like Motorhead. I just never really get off my body. I used to have, like, rock and roll, like I said, long time ago. But, you know, music. Something that just takes my mind off of, you know, stuff that makes me feel sad. And I have stuff that goes through my head and it sucks. you know, everybody gets down, but it just it sucks when it really gets you down. And, you know, I'm like 52.5 years old and I still break down sometimes a crime. I was just watching this thing. it was like this orchestra playing and all these, you know, guys and gals singing in the chorus. And I have to say, it was a really beautiful thing, and it got me kind of choked up. And I don't know why. I was like looking at just, I don't know, man. Like the beauty of people, you know, there's like all these shapes and sizes of people singing and it was like just it was lovely and it made me smile and made me feel really good. And I don't know, maybe it sounds cheesy, but it made me have hope, you know, for the goodness of people, which, yeah, and I was all silly because I could be turn around and say I evil and blah blah blah and verse. I'm not a big fan of the human race, you know, I don't think everybody sucks, but I think a lot of people do suck. So yeah, this record episode is kind of all over the place, man, I don't know. It's like I did two episodes the other day and, you know, I was feeling good. I wrote a couple letters to some relatives, sent them off, and then I was getting ready to leave work, and I let this door close and I didn't see what I was doing, and I frickin smashed my hand. Really? Oh my God, hurt so bad and just boom! It was like a shock to the system. And I almost fell down and I was like, oh my God. And like this. Wow, man. I was like, right out of removing it just felt like a sonic boom and just, you know, just full force of the steel doors smashing. And I'm grateful my hand wasn't a little bit lower because I would have smashed my phone, but it broken. My friend would have broke my fingers. But I had to tell you, I feel grateful right now. I still got a tiny, tiny, tiny bit of very, very, very, very minute, uncomfortable feel on my. It's my left hand, but it feels a lot better now. But I'm just I'm grateful for things, man. You know, I was thinking about one day, like my sister saved me back in 87. I almost drowned, and she pulled me out of the pool. I thought I was dead because I saw this bright white light and a huge hand coming down. I'm like, oh, there really is a God like dead. I'm going to heaven. And it was my sister and she pulled me out and was just suddenly really loud. And life. And I never went back to that pool again. And then of course, there is the the stupid asshole lifeguard talking to some half naked girls standards for my sister and me. I would have died right there in the pool. I would have drowned. I was like, thanks a lot, you asshole. But anyways, you know, so I don't know how to swim. But anyways, I'm always grateful to my sister Dawn. So they love you. Thank you for saving my life. you know, one night of work, I thought I was having a heart attack, and it just turned out because I had had my license, approval, my high blood pressure pills for way over a year, and I. Yeah, my. By level, my whatever you call it, my heart rate levels like over 441. And that's so that's pretty about stroke. I got all my meds, I and I got my health care back. I'm trying to cure, taking my diabetes pills. I'm just trying, man. And, I don't know, I just I still don't really feel like, God, I'm tired a lot. And that might be also why I feel kind of depressed sometimes. But, you know, I've also got other personal issues, you know, stuff, regrets, you know, but I'm trying to get over that. I'm just trying to think positively and, you know, and and what I do is I've been trying to exercise my brain by like, you know what makes me happy? You know? And I just think, like, my kids, you know, movies, movies are another big thing that just takes my mind off of crummy things. But, you know, even when I watch a movie, if there's, like a love scene, I usually fast forward through it because it just it bothers me. I think of, you know, certain person or whatever, and it just kind of, you know, it is word triggers, but it kind of triggers some, you know, sadness. So I'm like, I usually skim through that crap. But, you know, other than that, yeah. I'm just sitting here, you know, it's all I'm just kind of zoned out. but anyway, so, you know, we all get depressed. I need to tell myself that I'm not the only person in the world. I get sad over stupid things. Everybody does now. Nobody. I'm not the only one in the world. But, you know, I try to think of things that make me happy. And I think, like, you know, music and art, comic books and movies and my cats and, you know, my family and all my family gives a crap about me, my friends, you know, the few true friends I have. And and I'm always, always appreciative of all the people that say kind. So about my band, I mean, I been doing, you know, it's a long time, man. 33 over 33 years now. and I'm, you know, I'm still mildly disappointed. I haven't played a show in over five years now. I thought I was playing a show, it was a play show like earlier this year and didn't happen. But then I was thinking, I don't really care because I don't really give a fuck about the local scene. I don't care, I don't care about me. Why should I care about them? You know, this like elitist or whatever, you know, I suppose indie rock, whatever. Yeah, they're all talented. So what? I don't care. And I do get defensive because, you know, like I say, I do my band for so many years and I've had times we're about to play show for ABC. Would you Blue Boy? Whatever. The same person doesn't even, you know, leaves when I start playing or whatever. People, you know, just walk out of clear rooms. I'm like, you know what? I don't really care because I'm not doing it for your people. I'm not going to kiss your ass. And, you know, and I've done plenty of people that were doing noise for a while, and there's actually been people have quit because although, you know, I didn't become popular, I'm like, you know what? I don't do noise to be try to be popular. Do it because I love the joy of feedback and noise and destruction, man. And there's plenty of people, you know, bands started out doing total like, noise stuff and it, oh, you're Lana Turner to death metal. Or some people quit and started playing boring emo freaking music. Blah. But you know, to each their own. But the thing is, I'm not a freaking poser and I'm not a stuck up asshole, because that's the thing that pisses me off too, is like, you know, you get these people to think that noise is all snobby, elitist, pretentious. There's plenty of people like that. But you know what that's like in any scene out there? I don't care if you're metal or punk ass or country or just pop music, whatever, I don't care, you know, just regular rock. He's like, there's the good in a bad. I, I just for the last year, it's like I'm not a part of any scene, man. I just like to see part of the shit scene. And what does that mean? Just shit. You know, people think my music's made. My noise is shit. And it's like, God, I hope he's like, it is. I'm the French guy. And. And man bites dogs light and awesome shit. My bad, I don't it's it's that's me as I don't care. you know, it's ironic too is I, I've had a lot of, like, people just get really pissed off and I've played shows and a lot of these punk rockers complaining, or they leave or they sit outside and they complain. It's like, you know what? What is this? Like, wait a couple days, what are we go see. What are your own bands? You don't like us? You know a lot of noise bands still. You know, at least out here, never really get a chance. I mean, we we had shows off and on, you know, there was a thing going on for a while, and then it just totally died. And then the only other person I know, I can't even get hold of them, my old friend Bruce, who did? He was with Joel. They did, that was his roommate for a while. But they were friends. And you know how friendship goes. That doesn't always work out. But anyways, they did a really kick ass. I don't know if you want to call it fully noise, but there's a really great band. They did. It was called Beacon Lights. I played like two shows with them and they're awesome. I have their CD. I like the ad, Bruce a copy of it because he does. You have a copy of so Bruce over here. This we ever freaking, you know, get Ahold of me or whatever. You know, I'd like to make you a copy of that shoot. I'd probably give you back your original packaging. Just give me your frickin CD and just, you know, make a copy for myself. It's your band, man. And I know how it goes. I'm still. I've got stuff that I wish I could get of the earwigs. I could show. I played in Seattle. It was promised I would get a copy, that I never got it. I was like five times. I never got it. I been asking on and off for like over 20 plus years and I pretty much given out, you know, there's a lot of stuff. There's like, what's the point? But anyways, I'm still doing my band. I have all this crap that I need to put out and I'm just trying to lazy and jaded. Now, if were like, was the we still room? Well, yeah, I don't play. I don't play shows anymore. I don't get offers to play shows. And I guess it doesn't really matter. You know, I don't fit in anyways. I don't really care. I just, I love playing live and I'll play live in front of nobody. I've pretty much done that at one time. My friend JR was a was a guest with earwigs. We played in front of one person because as soon as we started setting up, everybody laughed. I thought that was great. They all went home. All these people. There's plays was like just packed full of people. But oh no, there's a noise boom, boom and all these fucking whiny asshole deaf little assholes and all these punk rock pricks want to. It's, you know, what are you dickheads? I'm glad they all left. I don't want to look at their stupid faces anyways. I don't really care because I don't do my band for you people anyway. Then I'm glad I. Oh, I'm glad that people heat the airways. And I think I this is funny because both of these people, they've talked shit about me aren't even around anymore. You know, because I don't kiss ass, I don't have I'm not on some big label I don't have, all right? I've never put out a 12 inch LP. I've never played outside the US. I don't really give a shit. Do I? Be legal and I'll Broadway. I'll die. Wise days. You know what, right? Yeah. I'm on my way to finally go play over in Europe or Japan or something. Then I die. That's what he did. Because apparently murder junkies were setting it up to go play over and it over in Europe. And I wish you were still here, gal, because you're one of my biggest heroes, and he's one of the reasons why, I started the earwigs do Guy, the Ramones, Nuclear Death, misfits, Jimi Hendrix, LED Zeppelin, pink Floyd, impetigo, Minch, Anal Cunt, the list goes on and on. All those bands inspired me, man. And it was funny too, as we were, you know, you know, you're suburban Pink Floyd and Pink Floyd was the noise bands give a shit. It was inspired by the magic of the music. And you know what? They're the ones that inspired me to want to like one of my biggest inspirations, the one to, like, make music in the first place, you know, do stuff. I've been recording on and off since 1986, so kiss my ass. I started recording when I was 15, did a horrible band with a friend of mine called Scream Rage over and on Germany with Chris the his face and I was wild sea styles and I just found an old man photo he took. It was hilarious. It was like probably the worst, probably the worst ban you'll ever hear. But, I'm hoping to get that CD fixed because there's like one thing that was missing off it from the original cassette that I've actually had since 86. It was I, what do you call it? Noise. It's not a noise band. Is is shit. It's really crappy. It's like a 14 year old and a 15 year old recording tool for rap. And it was fun and I'm really proud of it. Anyhow. you know, and I got gotta mentioned sock Isaac. I, because there I write a letter to Dave Scholl, aka food water not a long time ago. And I said, hey, man, I think I'll start a band. I said, I want to start a grind band. And he wrote me back and he said, I hope you do it. Everybody should do a grind band. I'm convinced of that. And he and impetigo were my number one. Absolutely number one inspiration start the year Whigs and I recorded my very first tape at my best friend Wayne's house down in the basement, because I stayed with them for eight days, during a summer later, August of 90, and I brought my guitar and my amp, and I asked him if I could use a suitcase for drums. I was wearing my cowboy boots at the time. and then what was it? He had his mom's boombox and he said, sure. So I just started recording a tape. I did like this. I think it's about, I don't know, it's about six minutes really short. Unofficial August 90th rehearsal, which it's be like the ear wigs. I'm sure you on on that. You on that one side. The seven inch that my friend Zach and Eric disorder both played a long time ago. but really proud of it. I mean, it's immortalized on vinyl and memorable recording. I'm not like, you know, bands like blood that, you know, hate their first recordings is all those are offshoots and same guys are tell me about how noise is just shit. Somehow I whatever. I like blood though. I think blood is cool. They're great German described band legends, but you know, that's fine. They don't like all the really like, shit noise or whatever that they did. But you know, whatever chirping, you know, I noise, I do, I like total shit. I homemade bedroom garbage, you know as some of these elitist like did this on you know make putting down oh because they're not on a weird walk. Yeah. Kiss my ass. I could do a whole rant. I don't need to. Or what time is it? Let me let me look at that. Okay. a little bit longer on that on in this episode. But anyways, this this particular episode has no theme. It's just kind of like about life. I watched a couple Paul Nash films. I know, watching Broken Eyes. No, it was a blue eyes of the broken blue eyes of the broken ball. God. So I can't remember that anyway, because, like. Yeah, like I said, I have been able to think straight that a blue eyes for the broken doll and the werewolf and the yeti and what else? I watched the second, I made John returns, and then I watch again. It was cool. It was the first Yokai Monsters film. I think it was like 100 ghosts or something. I'm. Yeah, it was 100 ghosts. What's the first? Michael? Koji by love. was it Scorpion prison or Scorpion 701. You know, the, Scorpion series? I got that over a year ago. I got the box set from Arrow Films, and I felt really bad. I like, why do I start watching them now? I waited, like, a year. But anyways, I watched the first one. The other night. It was just really awesome. Then watch it. about dead near halfway through, Deadwood season three, which is great. Watch. And, Black Sails season one. Ultraman, the all the anime series. I just finished the OVA series of The Dirty Bomb now, because I actually just watched all of the Dirty Pair, the TV series, the three movies, and I love K and Eri. I love them, they're beautiful. They are among my favorite anime girls movie. And, I was at Animo and and now I'm, What are the robot they have? He's hilarious. But I love Muji, the genetically engineered giant cat. Nobody helps them out on their missions. This is like a great anime series. I need to get back into Ranking of Kings. I only watched the first two episodes. It's really good so far. but yeah, just a bunch of movies. I just got in the mail. What was it last week? Oh, yeah. I also watched, both from Arrow Films, the Blu rays, Creepshow two, which was a total joy watch. And then again, I actually enjoyed it a lot more than the first time I saw it, like almost 40 years ago. And then I watched contamination was a Luigi kasi that's a excellent, excellent movie, and I think it's underrated. And the soundtrack by Goblin is like one of the greatest soundtracks ever, and it's one of my very favorite Goblin recordings. And I'd like to, I'd I really want to get that, album. I love Goblin, I've got like, I think 2 or 3 goblins. I would like to soundtrack to Buried Alive aka Bluey Omega. Like couple other titles Suspiria, I think I have another I can't remember, I don't, I don't remember right now. But anyways, I have I will maybe mixing that up with I can't remember. Anyways, like I said, my brain has about working with it. Recorded one more episode and then I guess all these will get edited and other be coming out and I hope will enjoy this show. It's fun to do and I know I haven't been really, really funny. You know, I think that's part of the point, but I'm sure that'll be happening. I just need to loosen up a little bit. I almost feel like a doing a comedy show, like a spoken word. But yeah, I'm sitting here by myself again, no music playing in the background and nothing, just checking the timer to make sure I don't. Okay, so the next episode I am there might be a by now be I don't know what the next episode is going to be. I'm not even going to say so. Anyways, there'll be another episode and then, this this will be off the Tim and I don't know how people enjoy it, but like I always say, and it's not like a defense mechanism, but, you know, if you don't, that's fine. If you do, that's cool. But I'm sure we'll have a set up. You can send me comments or questions or insults or whatever. I don't really care if you think my show sucks or you told me say the show is totally boring, like whatever, that's fine with me. I'm not going to get mad. I'm just going to laugh because I am grateful to have opportunity. Because, like I think I said in the first episode, I've been wanting to do podcasts for about two years now and it just nothing worked out. But here we are doing this now, having fun kind of zoned out. I'm going to be, heading out soon. It's getting late. I'm actually at work. I might as may should I be admitting that? Yeah, because, you know, I got done. So, just sitting there and, you know, get the arts channel playing in the background. I actually have the I have it on mute right now. Some kids sing and some more black and white chorus or something. Anyways, so hey, anybody you're listening to this, just take care of yourself. And you know, like I'm saying, if you ever get you get depressed. Always know that you're not the only one out there, man. You know it's it's over love or, you know, the broken hearted crab or just, you know, losing somebody or just, I don't know, whatever, you know, and everything. Depression sucks. And I don't know, my advice is just hang in there, you know, and if you're a creative person, just keep creating. Just keep doing it. Don't give up, man. Because I like to say a life sucks sometimes. It does. I always I'd say life. Yep. Because I don't know if it's worth living as a, as depressed as I get sometimes and down and feeling like I'm worthless and I do, I put myself down, off and on. I say I'm think I'm crap. I'm terrible, I'm no good. I'm all right, you know? But how to keep going, man? Because I got a lot of things that I gotta do before I go. And I'm grateful to be alive. I'm glad I could walk. I could see I got bad eyesight, but, hey, I'm trying. You know, the strength to do something, you know, man, want to do stuff for my band more? I want to, you know, maybe do, like, a new fake live show or something. And I gotta put stuff together for a 12 inch a double LP next year on, breathing problems, which I'm excited about. I said a little while ago when we moved to move with Joe Jamar with bubble 12. Turns out it's gonna be a collection of a bunch of older. My grind noise and noise call stuff, but I really need to get that together so I can, send that to my friend Zach and get a mastered. So. And then we will send it off to rusty, get it all done, and figure out, you know, all the art for it and everything. I'm excited about it. I'm really flattered, dude. Thank you. Rusty. You're awesome dude. Rusty does some badass music too. So check out Breathing Problem and see all the cool stuff they put out of Traci Lords Loves Noise LP a while back, which surprised me because from, you know, Billy's totally not even in any of that stuff anymore. But, you know, that's fine. People change. I still love it all, still love Traci Lords loves noise, man pissed off orgasm, Lord Zilla blaster, some of the, Razorback stuff. I'm not the biggest fan, but I like some of it. Some of it's really cool. I love the reissues of the impetigo. both of those are beautiful. Lovely. photo. anyways, kind of blab and kind of ramble on here. but yeah, just, I know, take care of yourselves and, you know, sometimes we all get lonely. But you know what? Just keep living and keep breathing, man, because you never know. The next day, something really frickin badass and really cool could happen. And you just might sound shallow. I'm really excited because right now. Because today. Well, yesterday in the mail, I got my impulse two Blu ray set from Grindhouse Releasing. That's the only way that you can get that. I think it's from 1974, William Shatner as a totally crazy homicidal maniac, and I can't wait to watch it. And limited edition of 2000 copies where they signed Boxcar to William Griffith, the director. November. That's his name, right? Another postcard in there. So two Blu ray set and as a cool reversible cover, it's in a nice box and it's a little thing, you know, but even little things like that make me happy. Just get something cool like that in the mail. And, I'm just going to keep listen to music, and I'm going to keep thinking of my dream lady. and, you know, I don't. I'll see a security blanket. Maybe so, but I'll tell you what. It's nothing wrong with dreaming, man. So keep dreaming. keep looking to the future. And, there's a beautiful, beautiful woman singing opera on TV. So, anyways, I think that's about it. So just hang in there. Don't give up. Stay cool. Remember, the Missouri lion loves you. You could send me. You know, anybody ever wants to talk about life and weird stuff and crazy movies or whatever? I'm sure, like I said, I'm sure there'll be, like, a set up there, but you can email me or whatever. Leave comments. Well, I don't know. I guess we'll figure it out. But, anyways, remember you're not alone and the universe isn't alone. So until next time, stay sick. Takes care. Don't forget to change your underwear and keep the food. Keep watching the skies. This has been the Missouri land. So we've got one more episode in this, quote unquote season. So have fun. All right. Oh.